Ode to My Vision Board and Craft

Although I am already a triple threat, it is important for me to have a clear vision of what my career calls for. Triple threats are people who thrive in the entertainment and performing industry, while balancing the title of being someone who sings, acts, and dances.

During quarantine, I became interested in finding my aesthetic, and after spending hours on the alternative side of Tiktok, I found it. Learning to do my eyeliner like a pro was essential for me, as I’ve only ever known to do simple designs. To my surprise, not much practice was needed when it came to winging my liner, and I perfected the skill almost instantly. The idea of quarantine may seem dull and dark, but this July sunset lit up the sky and created a radiant, lighting that shone through the window. At that exact moment, I decided to show off my makeup.

Actors are often associated with being egotistical and elitist, and although this is true for many, it is false for most. Actors, especially those of color are hardworking and determined as we’ve been told “no” many times. As people of color, we have to go above and beyond in order to have a seat at a table where our voices are heard. It was important for me to include this photo in my project because of the power behind the word that also holds a double standard.

I can recall creating my 2020 vision board. Wishes being whispered with each breath The word: Manifestation being passed around like free candy Open glue sticks and scissors spread out on our wooden floor. The bass of K-Pop songs ringing through my ears as scraps of paper was drenched in glue. Glares of motivation being exchanged between my mother and I.

Today, procrastination stains the air as I feel the same emotions everyday, Laziness, fatigue, and yearning. No auditions. No bookings. Just me staring at my vision board on the wall. A slice of cardboard with posters that put my dreams on display. A yearning to see young faces in the cold waiting room at auditions. A yearning to wipe the anxiety-caused sweat off of my brow As I critique my performance in the elevator.

2020 was the year when I came to a realization. A realization that put a label on my laziness And my procrastination. “Elijah! You should check out these acting classes.” The familiar voice that belongs to my mother rang throughout the hallway. While I felt the deep beating of happiness within my heart, Anxiety and unfamiliarity flowed through my body.

The same anxiety and unfamiliarity that Evaporated from my body As soon my finger clicked the mousepad And led me to the “Join” button.

My natural habitat. The friendly faces of strangers who are just like me. All of their talent limited to boxes next to the Illegible pdf of a monologue downloaded in a new tab.

A sigh left my lips, Knowing that the emotions I had felt were no longer existent.

At this moment, My heart and my head were on the same page.

Both want the same thing. I’ve come to notice that setbacks come in different forms and at different times, Like a tide of waves pulling back from the sand. The procrastination and laziness returned in the midst of long, hot summer days.

This setback doesn’t have to last for eternity, Although it may seem like that. Working through this time period as if I am making dough from scratch is exactly what will teleport me into the dimension of my craft.

Ode to My Vision Board and Craft

Words